Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Pretty Princess Pastry
Profound Process

Terrific Trendy Tiara
Totally Tasty

Sunday, April 20, 2008

It was Bound to Happen

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Customers From Hell Volume X
"Pathetic Pastry Phisher"

I honestly believed I had heard and seen it all. That is, until last week. Thankfully (or not) I was given a rare yet fabulous opportunity to create another Customers From Hell post- just for you!

I do a substantial amount of my wedding cake business over the internet. There have been several occasions when I have never met, or even spoken with, the bride or the groom. Everything can be finalized right through this very monitor your eyes are glaring at! Have a strange request you're jinbarrassed to speak about? Email away! Bring it on! Paypal is our friend. (BONUS- I won't tell anyone you ordered 10 dozen anatomically correct gingerbread. ;-)

Upon checking my voicemail the other evening I came across a strange nearly inaudible message. After replaying it roughly 5 times, I managed to make out 3 distinct things:
1) that it was some type of operator assisted call
2) there was interest in a wedding cake
3) an email addy to reply to

Frankly, it sounded dodgy to me. I contemplated not responding, but that's just not how I do business. The next day I sent an email and attached a copy of our wedding cake brochure. I received a reply the next day. It mentioned the 'relay call' and a semi-detailed description of the wedding cake Mike Williams wanted to order. He signed the email "God Bless".


Apologies to those genuine religious peeps reading, but I would have bet my life on the fact that anyone who signs an email with "God Bless" is only out to screw you out of something... er, in this case, screw ME out of something.

After sitting down & having a heart to heart with my buddy Google, I find that the 'relay call' is a free service for the hearing and speech impaired. Oh the toil my brain fell under... should I blow off the possible potential customer or should I respond one last time? What to do what to do what to do...

In the end, the only reason I responded one last time, was because if it really was a hearing or speech impaired customer I did NOT want to discriminate. Because that's just plain wrong and jin's can't do things like that.

I sent a short email with a base price quote. What I received back seriously pissed me off! One glance at the rest of the details confirmed that it was a goddamned phisher!!!! Trying to scam a wedding cake?! WTF?!!? Do criminals have ZERO boundaries? [Don't answer that I was being facetious.]

Had I replied back,
this is what I would have said:

Dear Mr. Mike Williams
aka nightoceanview@yahoo.com
If you honestly think I would make you a wedding cake to serve 300 people AND pay out of my pocket $700 shipping charges to your carrier by credit card YOU are the f@cking moron. I sincerely hope no one else on this planet falls for your scam, but should they be naive enough to do so, I pray you shall have all of your extremities chewed off bit by tiny bit by rabid creatures of the night until you are merely a torso left out in the freezing cold in a pile of your own feces.
God Bless,

More info on the loser here. I'm also making all my labels to this post about the scam should any other unfortunate cake maker fall prey.

*****EDIT: 4/15 6.30PM
I received another email today! He claims he's still interested in the wedding cake but is having trouble with his 'nightoceanview' email account working properly. *HUGE jingrin* If per chance one of you messed with it after reading this... you are AWESOME!!! :-D
The new contact addy he gave is: