Woeful Wedding Warning

You each write out your perfect vows.
I'll make the show stopping cake.
Remember not to pose for your photos
with smiles that are fake.

Your wedding should be
full of happiness & fun!
But distant nasty relatives
can keep you on the run.

Trust me, keep it smaller
with peeps you hold dear
don't invite Uncle Hillbilly
he'll drink all your beer!

Rich Auntie Jezebel
had better not come.
She'll bring the new boy-toy
Mr. Studly But Dumb.

Maybe Second Cousin Junkie
won't be able to get a ride
for she's likely to go into convulsions
on the buffet cos her brain is fried.

Little Nephew Pickpocket
need I say any more?
He'll steal all your gifts
then weasel out the door.

Don't forget about your neighbors!
Mr. & Mrs. Swinger sure look neat.
They'll stay 'til the end o the night
hoping you'll share your honeymoon suite!