Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Emotional Impressions (Warning, this is a Sad one.)

I totally believe that what you put into something is what others get out of it. 99% of the time I LOVE what I do, the things that I create & the joy I bring to people who BLISS OUT after one small bite.

Ever see "Like Water For Chocolate"? You know the scene. The one where they cry while preparing the food, then everyone who eats it starts crying.....I had one episode like this. For real. I've not been able to write about it yet & it's nearly a year already. This is also the first time I'm posting pics of this particular wedding cake. I've never shown them to anyone. They aren't in my portfolio, either.

It was last October 1st, a Saturday. I had an Open House, many orders & one unique wedding cake to serve several hundred people. One of those weekends where I go to sleep at 2 AM-ish & wake up at 5 AM-ish.

I was home at a little after 1 AM. My Australian Shepherd, Bella, always came out to greet D & I when we got home. Sometimes it would require a call from each of us, but she always came out from her bed in the back of the house. Well, she wouldn't come out for us, but I heard her tags jingle & figured she was just tired. Once in bed, I heard the pitter patter of her paws & contemplated checking on her, but I fell asleep first. I awoke at 4AM. First thing I did was go over to Bella, sprawled out on the floor & gave her a kiss. She didn't move. I knew. Damn it, I knew right away. It didn't stop me from shaking her repeatedly & screaming her name. She was only 5 years old & in good health (or so we thought).

She waited until I got home. Then she went to sleep & never woke up. She had the most peaceful, beautiful look on her face. Her eyes were closed & she was smiling. I woke D up & told him, crying my eyes out with a severe migraine coming on. He didn't believe me. That made it worse, he thought he was having a bad dream. He went over & tried to wake her up.

We decided to go to the shoppe & open, setting everything up so our helpers could take over from there, then go & buy a tree when the landscape company opened & bury her in the back yard next to it.

I am the ultimate when it comes to obligation. I have never, & would never cancel a wedding cake under any circumstances, including this one. D & I got the shoppe going, finished up a few orders & left at 10AM for the tree. I think I'll skip the rest of the details because I'll just start crying otherwise. Suffice it to say, she was buried & the tree was planted by noon. I had to get back to the shoppe to finish the wedding cake.

I had frosted & decorated the top tier with my tears flowing non-stop & a full-blown excruciating migraine. It still looked good! HA! Some of my most gorgeous cakes were created when I felt my worst, go figure?!

The decos were solid Belgian Dark Chocolate with golden leaf imprints.

A dear customer came in just after I finished everything. I told her what happened, she gave me a hug & said, 'The last thing you need to be doing is making a wedding cake!' I replied, 'I can't stop crying. I just don't want everyone at the wedding to eat the cake & cry.' I was quite serious, although I think this lady didn't understand my thought process. *chuckles* She looked at me strangely.

I was worried about that. I knew it would look great & they would be pleased. I just didn't want to bring all my sadness into someone else's special 'happy' day.

The delivery was a good 20+ minutes away, & wouldn't you know it! I had to pull over a few times as the migraine progressed to that final stage of 'cookie tossing'. We made it there eventually, set everything up & D said he'd take pics. I didn't want any because I new they'd only remind me of Bella. He insisted. I suppose now, looking back, I'm glad that he did.

This last paragraph is for those of you that thought I was crazy with my 'silly' worries about crying while finishing the cake. The aunt of the groom was a friend of mine (BTW, she did NOT know what had happened with my Bella). She called a few weeks after the wedding to tell me how fabulous the cake looked & tasted. Everybody raved about it. Then she said, "I have to tell you this! I went over to see the cake first thing. It was so beautiful I had to make sure the bride saw it before everything got too crazy. I pulled her away from the photographers & took her to see the cake. The second she saw it she started crying. She thought it was perfect. Then I started crying. The two of us were standing in front of the cake table and crying! I don't know what came over us!"

16 Responses to “Emotional Impressions (Warning, this is a Sad one.)”

fairscape said...


It is so sad. Tne loss of a beloved pet is like the loss of a family member. It is to your credit that you took care of producing that beautiful wedding cake despite your tragedy. Tears of joy and tears of sorrow flow freely in people who have kind spirits.

Cherrie said...

I wandered over here from Cherry's. I know I am a complete stranger to you, but I am so sorry about the loss of your dog. Dogs are a member of the family, and when they pass the effect is the same. Especially at such a young age.

That said, your creations look scrumptious, and you're not too far away from me. Think I'll browse a little through your site . . .

Fuff said...

How sad, poor thing. How generous and caring of you to complete the cake and make someone elses day when everything in yours was going so badly.

Katy said...

oh I am so sorry about Bella. The crying thing reminds me of a movie with the Buffy actress. I cant think of the name but its the same thing what ever she felt while she made the food/dessert was what the people that ate it feel

Andy! said...

You were right, that was pretty sad.

Sorry 'bout the dog.

Sniff sniff.... what a remarkable story. The cake was beautiful. I'm sure they thought they were crying out of sentimentality, so it's ok.

Gyrobo said...

The dealer of souls
rescinded control
of what he doth dole.

Gnat said...

As always your stuff looks awesome, but the story really is a tear jerker. I refuse to show it to my soon to be wife for fear she will start thinking about the cats dieing again and start crying.


ace said...

My dog died last year, so I can definitely sympathize, or empathize, or whatever. I cried for like hours. I couldn't have done what you did, and gone to work right away. I barely made it the next day.

I didn't get to see him one last time - he died in early November, and I was going to see him (he lived with my parents) at Thanksgiving. My Mom even said she'd bring him down if he got really sick earlier. He'd been sick for a while. We were at a family thing, and he died while we were away. He was at the kennel (not a bad place, they really like him and treated him well) and died in his sleep at the vet before my folks got home. I miss him a lot.

But I'm getting carried away talking about me and not you. Yours a wonderful story, in its own way. So sad, and yet, I find it uplifting somehow. To see how much your dog loved you and you loved her - to plant a tree! - and to see how you can still be so strong in the face of sorrow, and to see how much your love came through in that cake.

And yes, I saw LWfC. I was in love back then so I remember it well.

jin said...

fairscape: Aw...thanks for that. I especially like the last line. :-)

cherrie: Thank you for the comment. :-) Welcome & I'm sorry your first visit had to be this story! It's usually very cheery here, I swear! :-)

fuff: Thanks fuff! :-) I wanted to put a pic up of her but I couldn't find any on my pc. (They're all over my office! But my scanner doesn't work.)

katy: Yes! I saw that one. I don't know what it was called either. It was a cute movie.

andy: Thanks andy! :-) Glad you're back. :-)

cp: You are most probably right & thanks. :-)

gyrobo: Aw, gyrobo, that's beautiful! Did you write that? You even put a frown on your avatar, thank you! :-)

gnat: Thanks Scott. :-) I agree with not showing it to her, with the wedding so close you don't need to have her worry about anything else!

ace: First, I LIKE hearing other people's stories so don't even think twice about writing one in my comments! Promise? Ok, good.

I'm sorry about your dog, I didn't realize you didn't get to see him a last time. That's too bad. :-( I think it's best when they die in their sleep.

I had another one (a 15 year old sheltie) that I had to take to be put to sleep about 2 Xmas' before this incident. That was SO much more difficult. I held him, wouldn't leave him until it was over. The Goddamn vet didn't put enough of the stuff in the injection & he didn't die right away. It was HORRIBLE. I hate vets. :-(
(His name was Axl was a huge GnR fan when I got

Thanks for your words. :-) You are way cool in my book! :-)

Jewels said...

I'm crying now...

jin said...

Oh, jewels, didn't mean for you to cry. If it makes you feel any better, I'll tell you a secret. My Brioche is the reincarnation of my Bella. :-) (That's a long story, & I intend to put it on unplugged one day!)

ace said...

I'm really glad my parents didn't have to make a decision to put Morgan down. And I'm glad that after all those years ignoring traffic, he didn't get hit by a car and splattered all over my parents' street. Either one would've broken their hearts.

So he was loving to us to the very end.

jin said...

ace: Yes, that's a terrible decision to have to make. Sometimes I think the dog actually chooses it's time so it will be easiest (in a manner of speaking) on their family members. I do believe that's possible.

Rest in Peace Morgan. XOXOXO

Losing pets is so incredibly tough!

But I think your story, Jin, especially the part of the two standing in front of the cake and also crying, very suddenly and very unexpectedly, is proof positive of how very connected we all are to one another.

jin said...

Thanks ec! I's only a matter of time before the 'peace scales' are tipped in our favour! :-)