Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Carnal Cakes


***WARNING!***

Below are pictures of cakes ordered by practical jokers, crazy giggling women planning bridal showers & individuals with really sick minds. Be warned, some are in 3D. Don't lean in too close, you could probably lose an eye.

By scrolling down of your own free will, you assert that:
1) You are old enough to view dirty cakes
2) If you ever need to order one you must get it from me
&
3) I cannot personally be held liable for damages incurred by anyone that laughs so hard they pee in their pants.


If you agree to all the terms listed above, by all means, scroll down!









You want to know the funniest thing?

Most women send their boyfriends/husbands in to pick these cakes up.


The poor fellows are, most always, embarassed beyond belief.

My taunting personality always prompts me to open the cake box & ask them if they are pleased with how it looks.

Heeheehee!!! :-D

19 Responses to “Carnal Cakes”

Cherry! said...

There is a god! Thank you for that! Mr W's bday is coming up. I was wondering if you could ship one of these types of cakes over for me? I'm thinking handcuffs and alot of crotch. Is this do-able?

Cherry! said...

Oh yeah and I'd SOOOOOO open it up and ask them if they were happy with it too. HAHAHAHA!

Katy said...

yeah I would have to be sure to open the box and make sure the cake is what they wanted, just to watch them search for words. Love the cakes they would be fun to serve at a party

Gnat said...

Ok, I have to admit the first thing that came to my mind was why there was not a candle wick in the...umm...unit.

You know, something to blow.


Just me and my sick mind.


Gnat.
.

Tiffanie said...

ha ha ha! I love that last cake. Bet that was fun to make!

Well, I made the 100 list, you said to let you know, so I'm letting you know.

Boy, that was hard work to do, you know?

A Girl You Know said...

i love that you'd have the husbands/boyfriends check it out before leaving the store. so great. i got a cake kind of like this when i was in college for a friend that was getting married and had to explain to cute little old rural GA ladies in the grocery store what I wanted. yelling about penises and condoms on cakes in such a small town was one of the highlights of my college experience.

thanks for this post. you're so funny.

Cherry! said...

Actually gnat that's a great point. Kinda brings a whole new meaning to 'dipping your wick'.

On a lighter note, jin: who was your model for the appendages? Did you have to make a plaster cast or did you just sort of stand there in the kitchen and estimate girth etc?

Blushing at the cakes!

OMG, I now have a permanent link on jintrinsique! I'll be sure to return the favor later when I update CPW! :)

I left a comment on your post about the rude people but for some reason it didn't show up later. I may not have completely clicked login & publish or something. Unfortunately I can't remember what I said. I waited tables for several years and encountered my fair share of customers from hell.

As you may know the East Village is a wacky place at times. Afew years ago I went to a birthday party for a little girl in my son's class. She had a beautiful big pink cake - it was like a dream cake. Her french mom told me that Old Devil Moon Cafe baked wonderful cakes and I should go there.
Well...I went and they handed me a large black binder. Every page was a picture of various color boobies, butts, and genitalia! I was shocked and confused until I got to the last three pages that were all kids cakes. They baked me the best Thomas the Tank Engine Cake ever created in world history. The Cafe's bakery is called Masturbakers....which I discovered after the fact!

jin said...

cherry: LOL hmmm...I don't know if the marzipan 'part' would 'hold up' in shipping. Heeheehee
As for my model: the last one I made I kept asking David to please whip it out in the kitchen so I could make it as realistic as possible...he wouldn't go for it. 'Course, I'd use any excuse.....
I imagine the food inspector walking in while 'it' is 'out'.
She'd say, "That's filthy!"
I'd say, "That's art."
;-)

katy: Hey, I got to read your personality tests, but I couldn't leave a comment without signing up. You sound very interesting & I LOVE that they called you a "Wonderful Eccentric". That has a very pleasant ring to it!
Thanks for the nice write up on my blog, too!! :-)

gnat: LMAO!!! I told my husband what you said, he said, "Brilliant idea! We could start doing that!" I concur!! :-)

tiffanie: Too much fun to make those!!
You have a great 100 list, too.
Felt good, didn't it?! Yes, mine was hard, too...but I'm glad I did it. Feels like sort of a real accomplishment. :-)

a girl: I can picture you talking to those old ladies about it, too!! LOL Was it something they usually made or were they upset about the request?

cp: My Dad still says to this day, "Blushing is a sign of innocence". ;-)
You're welcome! You're cool, too...that's why all the links! :-)
I do faithfully read 'Five things I hate'...I have intended to send my list in since it's inception, but I think I need to send in several lists of five. LOL
I hate when I lose a comment...I had trouble one night, too. Sometimes I think it's bloggerbugs!

evi: LMAO at the name!!! (And the story) It just goes to show what is most popular for party cakes! Thanks for sharing!!! :-D

Katy said...

Yeah the sign up thing is the one thing I dont like about myspace
:{{, but its free so its no big deal. Thats how I started actually I signed up to leave a comment for a friend.

Yeah I was laughing when I read that I am an eccentric.

Real said...

Well I am speachless on this one, good thing I have a keyboard. Also knowing how much of a perfectionist you are, I am sure the cakes were made to exact scale.

jin said...

katy: I know it's free...& I probably will sign up one of these days...it was just one of those times when I really wanted to leave a comment & I really didn't want to fill out a form...password...etc. LOL
My desk is currenty covered in scraps of paper with passwords on.
:-)

real: Like I told gnat the other day...my people look more like Picasso's ... nothings in perspective! The 'parts' were made way too big. No need for you to feel insecure. I mean, what's the use if it's so long? You sit on it & it pops out the top of your head, or nostril, or ear or something...(OK, real, I'm grasping at marzipan penis', er I mean straws, here... tell me I made you feel better now?)

Real said...

Oh my, I can't stop laughing tonight. Sometime I will have to use your words when talking to family. "grasping at marzipan penis' " That is one of the two funniest things I have read all week.

jin said...

I'm sooo glad you're laughing!!!
:-D

FYI, you're allowed to send as many lists as you want to Five Things! There can be 50 lists of 5 things! :)

Lesley said...

LMAO @ "marzipan penis"!!!

If I ever get married, I'm going to have to order a cake with a marzipan penis on it. Actually, I believe the marzipan penis is underutilized and would make any occasion all the more festive.

Weddings, funerals (a.k.a. "the dead spread"), baby showers, a bris... Okay, maybe not the bris. But all the others? MARZIPAN PENIS!

jin said...

cp: I'm on it!!
*this should be fun!!!*

lesley: Am laughing so hard tears are running down my face @ this:
>>>>>"Actually, I believe the marzipan penis is underutilized and would make any occasion all the more festive."
Heeheeheeeeeee......

Cherry! said...

I think you need to train this David of your's a bit more! hahaha!

And I'd say it's art too.

I agree with lesley re the marzipan penis being underutilised. I'm going to ask Mr. W's Nonna to bake me one for the next Sunday lunch.