Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Suave Sophistication

I received this anonymous query in my email:

"Dear miss jin,
I have an etiquette question that I do hope you can answer for me. I attend luncheons with the MOST prim & proper women in the world. I try my best to fit in & follow all the acceptable decorum. There is only one problem I have had of late, which brings me to utter confusion. Here it is:

"Is it, in fact, appropriate to eat your place setting (plate, tea cup, napkin, etc.) after finishing your meal?"

Please help! I am at my wits end & know that you are intelligent & knowledgeable well beyond your years! (I also can't get through a single day without one of your splendid posts!)

Most Sincerely,
(signed) A Secret Silverware Nosher

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Oh, my! That is a problem indeed! But, never fear, for jin is here! I also know that you are not the only person to have been in this situation. I am quite positive that ALL my readers are eagerly awaiting my response, so they will not ever be put in this commonly occurring awkward position again!

The answer, in one short word, is:

YES!

Well, not always yes. You first need to determine one important factor.
Is the place setting made of chocolate?


Example below: this IS edible.

The entire place setting (place mat, napkin, tea cup, silverware & plate) has all been made out of chocolate, therefore, you may certainly eat every last bit. However, even though the vase & roses are also made from chocolate, you may not eat these! That is considered rude. Your hostess would not be pleased & you will probably never be invited back again!

Should you accidentally take a bite of a saucer that turns out NOT to be chocolate you must:
1) excuse yourself politely from the table taking care that NOBODY notices your bleeding teeth, gums & tongue
2) slip the half eaten china into your purse discreetly & walk slowly towards the ladies restroom
3) when inside, find the window leading to the parking lot & crawl out said window without making any noise
4) walk to the nearest hospital emergency room

Most importantly, never let these perfect women know that you have indeed made an etiquette faux pas. Don't worry, they won't even notice that you left, because if you are asking me for advice you are probably a nobody.

Hope this helped & really, HAVE A NICE DAY.

18 Responses to “Suave Sophistication”

CC said...

Nice. I'd like a chocolate spoon to go with that...

I'm having middle of the night insomnia coupled with sweet cravings - now I'll definitely have to go to the fridge to see what we have!

Cherry! said...

YUM!

I'm disappointed I missed first comment though!

Katy said...

oh gee thats to funny of a post. I love the chocolate table setting idea. I guess you can't do that in the summer.

Tiffanie said...

hahahah HA

Cute story. And awesome, I couldn't tell they were made of chocolate. You are so talented Jin. Your town is lucky to have you.

Gnat said...

I have never had the pleasure of having to make such a choice. I can tell you that I would have taken great pleasure in eating something like that right or wrong.


Gnat.
.

Lesley said...

Finally! A post sans wedding cakes! I told Real this weekend that every time I saw a wedding cake on your blog I kept thinking "Okay, I get it! I'll go meet him! Are you happy now???" :) I'm just saying.

Want to hear a crazy story though? On Tuesday when I was *supposed* to leave, Real and I were in Starbucks before he was going to take me to the airport. We saw a pastry chef walk in and sit down, and she had a portfolio with her. Soon after that, a young couple walked in, sat with the pastry chef, and began looking over pics of wedding cakes. Now here's the sort-of weird part -- the pastry chef's name? JENNIFER! When she stood up and said to the couple "Hi, I'm Jennifer" I almost fell off my chair. Well, okay, it was one of the big cushy Starbucks chairs, so I couldn't have fallen off, but you know what I mean.

Anyway, thought that was interesting. Are there a lot of pastry chefs named Jennifer? Are you all matchmakers? Do you have a girl gang?

I'm just asking.

Cherry! said...

OMG Lesley! That's hilarious! I bet she has a whole wedding cake posse happening out there that runs deeper than the black market.

jin said...

cc: Actually, you can't see it in the pic, but there was 1 fork & 1 spoon peeking out of the top of the napkin. But, to be honest with you...I cheated on those two items, I used cheap silverware from the dollar store & dipped it in chocolate. Heeheehee!!! It would have taken me WAY TOO LONG to make them out of solid chocolate & they were not paying me enough $$$ for that! LOL :-)

cp: I just finished writing something & I thought I saw a post pop up for 5 things you hate. I figured my pc was off or something. I thought 'no way would cp be up this late'. LOL. Um...know what I do for those cravings? Chocolate in my bedside table. ALWAYS!!! Heeheehee!!!

cherry: How about that! It's rare for you to be third, 'cuz I'm posting when everyone's asleep & you are starting your day!

katy: No, can't do much with chocolate in summer, it's fine in my shoppe (the air conditioner is ALWAYS running!) but once they get the truffles in their car they end up with chocolate truffle SAUCE! LOL

tiffanie: Aw, thanks! You are Sweet, just like the chocolate tea cup!!! :-D

gnat: Somehow I think I could envision you attacking a chocolate place-setting without worring what the host or hostess may think! I also know, that you WOULD KNOW, the difference between glass & chocolate!!! :-)

lesley: Yes, we have a girl gang, but I can't tell you about it. Sorry, you'd have to change your name first! (I'll let you in on a secret, though...I'm really the best out of all of them!!! Heeheehee!!!)
;-)

Lesley said...

I have no doubt that you're the best of all the Jennifer pastry chefs! Should I ever need such a cake, I can't imagine having anyone else make it!

;)

Everything is eatable...edible - the snozberries taste like snozberries..

Hope no one tries to blow their nose into that napkin!!!

jin said...

lesley: For you, I would be honored. (That is, when the time comes.) ;-)

phos: Oh, I LOVE that movie!! The first one AND the remake!!

It was on display at a museum &, yes, would you believe, an old lady reached over, picked up the 'napkin' & broke it! The NERVE!!! LOL

Gnat said...

Who has ever heard of a snozberrie!


Gnat.
.

Polyman2 said...

You are truly
the goddess
of the palate.
I kiss your fingers.

Sarah Letnes said...

Don't eat the roses? Is that like don't eat the daisies?

jin said...

gnat: Willy Wonka Has!!! He invented them, you remember..."Lickable Wallpaper"!

Poly: Awww...poly, you're the 'sweet' one! BLUSH!! Your praise makes me glow! :-)

sarah: heeheehee!! Oh, I don't know about that one...maybe it is prpoer to eat the daisies! LOL

a cake museum? I think I'd skip desert in their cafeteria. M

y wife is a painting toucher - thought we were going to get tossed the last time we went to the memorial center in Milwaukee.

jin said...

phos: My husband is a button presser (gadgets, on display in stores) ... maybe we should form a support group.